Allergies, D; boo. I love how they act up AFTER I get back from the fair. Haha. Anyhow, Sara and I went to the fair and it was a lot funner than we expected. Saw some people we knew, ate a lot of food that we probably shouldn't have ate. And than Sara bought me a coffee since it was kind of coldish. I rather it be cold than be in the 90's ya know?

So now I'm watching Madea goes to Jail with my parents but I think I'm going to bed since I have to be at work at 10:30. Boo.

I wanna go see Taking Woodstock soooo bad. And stuff. I think this is it for now, so holler.

Inspiration :D

I love when I get inspired to write stuff, espically poems! And somehow taking a creative writing class at LC has inspired me to write poems? Weird, right? I know. I want to post the stuff I write but I dunno if I'm going to post it here or make another blog for it. We'll see with time. But anywho, I wrote this poem at lik 4am (no lie) and wanted to see what you guys though...think? It;s just a rough draft but meh.

sex sells-
and thats all that matters to you.
a diferent bed everynight-
you can no longer tell their faces apart-
just one big blur in your vision.

your makeup smeared across your face,
hair across a pillow-
knotted and tangled.
and the moans you make are starting to sound fake.

but somehow it seems worth it the morning after,
as you wash the smell of him
out of your hair,
he was nothing but another man
in your sex driven game.

and now that i typed it out i realized im not a big fan of it. lol. ohh well.
<3.

Creative Writing :D

So this is my first poem for my creative writing class and I want to know what you guys think of it! Feel free to be harsh, haha. Also it needs a title. Yeah.

to dream it to touch the untouchable,
your fingers can caress freedom like a small child.
you can cling to wisdom and youth
without them being wiped away by the savage storm that is awake.
you find yourself in a world where hunger and war doesn't exist,
for they are a distant idea like reality.
to dream,
or to be awake,
is nothing but the foolishness you find yourself in.

<3.

Comfort Food & Sad Songs

I'm feeling pretty bummed, I'm not even gonna lie. I mean, this summer has been great and Chicago was such an amazing time. I got to hangout with a ton of people and do so really awesome stuff and now I just feel kind of stuck.


So, what am I doing? Eating my moms pasta (guilty comfort food), getting fatter, and listening to sad songs. Because thats what I do at times like these. I mean I'll go months and months of being so happy and than out of no where this depression hits me like a ton of bricks and it makes me hate myself more than I usually do. I wish I was prettier, I wish I was skinnier, I wish I could sing, I wish I had more self confidence. I wish boys would look at me and not be repulsed.

I don't know what I'm doing with my life anymore and it scares me more than anything. I just want to hide in my room for the next five years.

I dunno, I hate being like this and I hate being depressed but who knows. I dunno.

-Meranda

A Huge Weight..

Has been lifted off my shoulders. Stephanie's friend is going to let us stay at her house while we go to Chicago, this is so awesome and it means we don't have to worry about paying for a motel. This is so so so awesome and I feel like I can finally relax for a bit now. If I could just get this LC stuff figured out we'd be doing good.

Lets Insert Some Angsty Song Lyrics Here....

Okay, so things WERE looking up, now they are looking rather down. So I needed to get a student loan for LCCC for this fall semester well now I found out I can't get that loan because my GPA isn't a 2.0. Which means I either have to find a way to pay for college or not take classes this fall. It's so stressful, my dad told me to pay with it with the money I have but we're going to Chicago and I need money from that. And we already bought the tickets so I can't not go. ;| I mean, don't get me wrong I'm pumped for Chicago and I'm excited I'm going I just wish I could pay for my classes and books somehow.

So now I have to worry about paying to get my car fixed and now the rest of my tuition at LC and books. It's just really stressful and I feel like I'm about to have a breakdown or something. And my PMS isn't helping anything. I just need time away I think.

I dunno.
Blah.

It's been a while.

My computer isnt fixed but if I hook my desk top monitor up to my laptop than I can use is which is pretty cool I guess. So yeah, it's been a while since I updated anything, fail on my part. Haha. Well last week (I think it was last week) a bunch of us went to Put In Bay and that was super awesome! Than yesterday Kail, Steph, Kelly, and I went to the beach, than watched Nick and Norah's at Steph's house, got Hersey's ice cream, and than went back to Stephs house to watch The American President.

This summer has been pretty awesome!

And in a bit we're going to get our tickets for Spring Awakening in Chicago ;D Woo, good times.

Well, this is all for now, I'll write more later.