Watch As I Drown And Wonder Why

Im not going to beat around the bush, I'm going to come right out and say, I'm depressed. Highly depressed. I get those moments where I just get so down and blah blah blah. Yeah. I hate not having a job, it sucks so much. I want a job so I can actually go do things and go places and what not. Also my self confidence, it's at like zero percent. I want to be skinny and pretty. When I'm around my friends I feel like the fat ugly girl and I hate it so much. Extreme dieting sounds really good right about now.

Meranda

i should have been in bed like three hours ago mwhaha but atlas im not. i dont even know why im updating this, i dont have anything to say really. i feel kind of siiiick. and i still need to find one more class for freaking lccc, i just dont know what i want to take. haha. yep. and i need to find a job asap, i might do that tomorrow after i head up to the college.

hmm what else.
oh! i cut and dyed my hair. i got bangs and i look dumb with them. and than my hair was supposed to turn like golden-brown but it looks the exact same color as it did before i dyed it, so that was a fail.
hair!hair!hair!haaaaair.

and i have no cell phone D: my mom is suspending it till i find a job, please someone, let me find a job very VERY soon.

im sleepy and pms-y so im going to bed.

word,
meranda

Ohmygosh an Update

Alright, so blogging time. Yeah its like 3am and Sara is sleeping in my room and guess who is awake and bright eyed and bushy tailed? Oh thats right me! Laaaame. I want to sleep, I just cant, I think I might have insomnia. Who knows.

So yeah this weekend has been pretty rad. My parents are out of town for the weekend and friday night a bunch of people came over and we had a bonfire and we made smores and all that good stuff. And it was super fun. Than today/yesterday/the 4th of july Sara and I went to Crocker Park to see Shoshana Bean sing, she played Elphie in wicked on Broadway and she sung 'Defying Gravity' (i totally took a video of it and it WILL be on youtube tomorrow, I'll link it some time in case you wanna watch it) and while I was in the line at Starbucks I totally meet a Guilty One because I was wearing my Spring Awakening shirt so we fanned boy/girl the show while I was waiting for my Frappiccino. Than after all of that we went to Sara's aunt and uncle's and got some food, than went to watch the fireworks with them in Lorain. So it was a pretty sweeeet day.

Sara and I also decided that we are going to be Glinda and Ephie for Halloween cause thats how we roll. And I really REALLY need to find a job, I hate being unemployed and I need to find one more class to take at LCCC. Preferably a class on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 11am. So I think I'm going to figure the rest of my schedule out tomorrow and all that good stuff.

Well my eyes burn, I hope you all had an awesome Holiday and ate lots of good food.

I love your light,
Meranda.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

My parents are going to be out of town this weekend. :D Wooo.
But anywho this is going to be a weekend of awesomeness.
Friday night we're having a bon fire at my hour.
Than the 4th me and Sara are going to go to Crocker Park since the girl from Wicked is going to be there!

Not to mention singing and dancing around my front room with Sara and our microphones.
Haha.

I dont know what else to say.
Im eating a fudge pop and listening to music.
I think thats it.
wooo.

Update!

So, I really need to write about stuff in these so I think I will. I mean I know I write but I dont write anything good that people are going to actually want to read.

Tonight I went a on date type thing-ish. Okay, I wouldn't really call it a date but yeah. Here's what went down. Me and Travis meet up at the falls by the police department, we walked around and talked about stuff, than went back to his house and than we ended up going to Applebee's with Jared and their friend Sarah. It was a fun night though and Travis and I agreed that we need to hang out more. So that was fun.

I'm spending the day in Oberlin tomorrow with Sara. We're going to go see a free play so that should be fun.

Hmm, what else. Oh. I have a job interview Monday for Michael's. I'm really hoping that I get it because if I do than that means I can go to Chicago in August! Which would be just amazing. Well I think thats it for now.

<3.

More Photography ;D

This picture and the last one are from my Final Photography Portfolio. :) Each picture was done on a 35mm camera, hand developed, and hand processed in a dark room by me. Wooo.
<3.
So, what do you think of it?

Photography Time :)

I'm so proud of this photograph. You don't even know.
<3.